


in the absence of

by pepperi



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Ardbert-centric, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27110383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperi/pseuds/pepperi
Summary: “Do you ever get lonely?”Ardbert stared at the Warrior of Light as if the man had sprouted another arm.Well that was a loaded question-and-a-half.
Relationships: Ardbert/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	in the absence of

“Do you ever get lonely?”

Ardbert stared at the Warrior of Light as if the man had sprouted another arm.

Well  _ that _ was a loaded question-and-a-half.

Judging by the hero’s expression, the Warrior of Darkness had realized it too. At least the younger man had the decency to look apologetic. “I’m sorry; that was foolish.”

Ardbert snorted and turned his head away, resuming his usual business of feigning disinterest while shadowing the Warrior of Darkness busying about. Ardbert watched on as crates were stacked for local merchants, books were fetched for busy scholars, and medicines were delivered for harried-looking chigureons.

Sickly golden light flooded into the Crystarium as the Warrior of Darkness flitted about, running errand after errand. One could hardly tell that this very man skittering about at the locals’ biddings was the very same one who slew beasts and gods alike. But the young hero did not seem to mind. In fact, he seemed to revel with the petty praise and simple satisfaction of providing aid.

And so, Ardbert followed aimlessly.

For how was he to explain the emptiness that came with having too much to say with no audience to listen? How could he convey the gnawing pain of guilt that wracked his body, leaving it so broken even in death, to a man just barely over twenty summers? A well-traveled youth - yes - but a youth nonetheless. Hell, the Warrior of Darkness probably wasn’t even a single being in his father’s left testicle by the time Ardbert had met his own first, untimely demise.

He sat by the aetheryte and closed his eyes. The ambient sounds of the Crystarium slowly faded to white noise. He was alone, yes, but his loneliness lay not with the loss of his comrades - guilty as he may still have been.

Drawn schematics pinned to walls in councils reminded Ardbert of Nyelbert, vicious and smart and stubborn to the end.

Hard-headed Branden, like the muted clangs against battered steel at the forge of the Crystarium.

The creaking woods of Lakeland that surrounded them, lush and vibrant growth, welcomed him like Renda-Rae, who loved them all the same.

Fledgling adventurers that flocked to the Warrior of Darkness with the same glint in their eyes as Lamitt once did, who perhaps loved him more than the rest.

And the pale glow of the sky, though no near match to the stark white of her hair, reminded Ardbert of Cylva; a wretched foe - and a beloved friend.

Loss was a simple reminder of those that once were, simple as that. Ardbert reveled, remembered, and mourned that loss.

And indeed, Ardbert knew that the Warrior of Darkness was no stranger to loss either. No one in this line of business could possibly be so fortunate as to not  _ lose _ . He saw the way the young man carried himself, the slow slump of shoulders when the young hero presumed there would be no other left about to see. Soft whimpers resounded in the nighttime, lost in the muffle of heavy curtains and heavier sheets. Ardbert saw the permanently set jaw and the nervous tics of one unsettled by calm, too used to the tides of war. Nor did the ever-trembling fingers escape Ardbert’s notice.

This, he all saw.

He opened his eyes to continue his vigil, watching the Warrior of Darkness run about his business. The pale glow of the aetheryte cast momentary, ethereal glow across the young man’s face as he hurried by where Ardbert remained perched. Ardbert basked in the light that filtered through heavy panes. He could not feel the warmth of the light - only a ghostly chill to his very core - but watching the young hero flit to and fro filled him with a similar sensation.

The loneliness came from another line of reason, one he was not too inclined to delve into.

For how was Ardbert to explain this longing in his chest for a man he could not even touch - nevermind court. How was he to explain the hole in his chest that the young hero filled with every passing conversation? That the pain his ghostly form felt did not stop, but at the very least eased in presence of the Warrior of Darkness?

Loneliness felt like the wry smiles when the days dragged on, meant for Ardbert alone and that Ardbert could not help but smile softly in response to. It was the adventures he could not depart on with this Warrior of Darkness, the chest he could not skim his fingers across, and the future they could not share.

Loneliness was this feeling that Ardbert could not share.

But as Ardbert watched on as the young man ran about, living, breathing, and fighting for a future Ardbert could not create himself, perhaps, he thought, that was alright with him. To be by his side in this second chance - that was enough.

“You’re still hanging around?”

Ardbert looked up into the eyes of the Warrior of Darkness. They stood alone by the aetheryte. Soft lights bounced off windswept hair, messy from the day’s activities as the young hero paused for the moment. Ardbert huffed. “Done your chores, errand boy?”

The Warrior of Light squawked inelegantly, mustering some sort of response. Sweat trailed down his neck and a light flush dusted his cheeks, light dancing across his features as he moved about.

Ardbert laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> yee fuckin haw


End file.
